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DEPTFORD DIARIES

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9 June 2010

I've only got three friends. I really don't think you need more than that. I have other friends of course but they're not really 'friend' friends.

They're peripheral friends. The sort of friends I meet now and again and go to the pub with so that we can see 'what we're both up to.' Or to put it another way, so that we can measure our relative successes and failures and thus gauge how badly our own lives are going.

No, three friends is really all I need. I have a facebook account but I only have four friends on it. The three already mentioned, and one of my sisters. I requested my other sister as a facebook friend but she never responded. Neither of us has ever mentioned this.

The thing is I don't really like doing things with other people. I go to the cinema on my own. Why would you go with someone? You can't talk anyway; you just sit there in silence until the film ends and then have to say something inane like 'what did you think of that?' If you go to the cinema with someone the only time you can talk is on the way there and on the way back. It makes no difference if they watch the film with you or not.

Also they might be the sort of person who eats in the cinema and you'd have to put up with them making irritatingly loud crunching noises, drowning out potentially crucial pieces of dialogue. It's just not worth it.

Some people say that the secret to any sort of relationship is to make compromises. But why? If someone wants to see a film that I don't want to see, why on earth would I go and see it? We can see different films and meet afterwards. It’s my own personal nightmare to waste two hours of my life watching a robot say how he dreams of becoming a little boy and saying things like 'but why do humans cry?' 

The more you increase your social circle the greater the risk is of being roped into something inconvenient and awful. An old girlfriend recently told me (I bumped into her in the street I hasten to add) about a 'friend' of hers who invited her to her wedding in Florence. So she had to fork out a few hundred quid on flights and accommodation and use up almost a week of annual leave.

The selfishness is truly staggering. What's wrong with Catford registry office on your lunch hour? Luckily I've chosen my three friends wisely so there's little chance of any of them doing something similar. Having said that, one of them is trying to start a family. I hope he doesn't expect me to babysit. Maybe three friends are too many after all. I feel a purge coming on.

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Comments (1)

1. At 03:02 PM on 09 Jun 2010, Bill Ellson wrote:
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