Cheats never prosper
The hit TV show this week is the three-part drama Quiz, based on the true events of a Who Wants to Be a Millionaire scandal.
The scandal saw Major Charles Ingram and his wife sentenced for cheating on the game show, with coughing in the audience as the right answer was read aloud, leading Major Ingram to net the £1m top prize.
We’re reminded of a local link to this saga.
Bermondsey’s Jade Goody appeared on a 2003 episode of Wife Swap with Charles after his conviction, telling him to don a pair of tracksuits.
“If they’re good enough for David Beckham, they’re good enough for you,” she said.
But no-nonsense Jade also made the convicted cheat play the board game of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire with her.
Somewhat awkwardly for a man who professed his innocence, Major Ingram was accused of cheating in that one, too.
£1 house in Blackfriars
The coronavirus crisis has seen some shops and establishments hiking up their prices.
But it seems there are still some absolute steals to be had.
A luxury three-bed in Blackfriars Road was being advertised for a stunning £1 on RightMove this week.
For just a pound, buyers were promised panoramic views of the city and the Thames, floor-to-ceiling windows, and a sky garden thrown into the bargain.
Naturally this would’ve caused a stampede of buyers out the door if a legitimate deal. But it appears this was a mistaken listing on RightMove.
Now a disclaimer appears on the listing that it has been retracted by the agent – meaning you’re going to have to save up quite a bit more if you want a luxury three-bed on the South Bank.
‘Useless friends you need…’
Autocorrect slip-ups affect us all from time to time.
Last week the curse of the slipped finger affected a Bermondsey GP practice in a text to all its patients. It had texted them all with tips and advice on staying healthy during the pandemic.
Among the sage advice was that it might be “useful” to get family and friends to fetch items for you if you are shielding, alongside keeping social distancing and seeking medical help if needed.
But instead of calling the tip “useful” it called it “useless.” Useless friends you need to ask for help? Well, we’ve all got those.
What the Dickens is a weekly off-beat column published inside the Southwark News. Stories can be emailed to email@example.com